I wish I could think like Andrew Murray

I was getting ready for bed, and every (okay, almost every) night I read from "The Andrew Murray Daily Reader." If you don't know who Andrew Murray is, he was the son of South African missionaries, who himself became a minister and lived in South Africa in the 1800's. His writings are so insightful, and there are things there I would never think on my best day. There is something about some of the writers from the earlier generations. They seemed to have so much insight into God and His Word. Many a wonderful book was written during those times.

Anyhow, the reading for tonight was one that I have read before because I am on my second read-through of this book. It contains excerpts from several of his books. Tonight's was from The Believer's Daily Renewal. Murray wrote: Humankind was created for fellowship with God. . . But sin robbed us of this fellowship. . . It was this fellowship that Christ came to restore; to bring back God His lost creatures. . .The power to maintain close fellowship with God all day will depend entirely upon the intensity with which we seek to secure it in the hour of secret prayer. . .Of course, there is the danger of substituting prayer and Bible study for fellowship with God. True fellowship is giving your love, your heart, and your life to Him and receiving from Him His love, life, and Holy Spirit. . .Your Bible study may so pique your interest and so awaken pleasant feelings that the Word of God may become a substitute for God Himself. If this happens, we will go out into the day's work without the power of an abiding fellowship because in our morning devotions the blessing was not secured.

I know that's long, but there was more I left out. But, it really struck me when I read it, because I feel like that's what I quite often do - I am more concerned with getting my "Bible time" in, rather than spending a few quiet moments with God alone and enjoying the fellowship that comes from Him - not just reading His Word. I have never viewed my Bible study time as dangerous. It's supposed to be a good thing. But I can see Murray's point, that it could become a substitute for the fellowship with God. I do not want to deceive myself and think that I have had fellowship with God just because I have read a few verses from Scripture.

I wonder what kind of difference I would see and experience in my day if I sought fellowship with God in the morning instead of just making sure I got in some Bible reading. My Bible study can come later - but God has to come first.

This Peace

I am glad it's Saturday. The morning is cool and still. Time in God's Word was insightful and wonderful as usual.

This was a tough week. I was really feeling the weight of my world. Thursday, I broke a little. Thoughts of not having Momma, hormones, and a feeling of being completely overwhelmed at work caused the floodgates to burst. I kept myself together as long as I could, but could no longer restrain the tears at faculty meeting. Tears that I could not stop freely flowed down my face. I bolted. Fortunately, I am in a very supportive work environment and two of my co-workers/friends chased me down to make sure I was okay. I just needed some time to recollect myself, so I came home. By the time small group arrived, I was fine. The evidence remained, but the tears themselves were gone.

I kept telling myself that it was ridiculous to be crying, but I guess we sometimes need those moments of release. It felt very cleansing, or 'cathartic,' as my friend Amy put it. I am thankful for God's comfort and peace. Music, I think, is one of those comforts. Using what others have found in God, and sharing it through lyric and musical composition. One of those songs is "This Peace" by Sara Groves. I love the words: It's a mystery appeal that's been granted me tonight; This peace; This peace.

It was exactly that on Thursday: an appeal to Almighty God that was granted, and is still being felt.

p.s. - Michele, I miss you! I know you completely understand these emotions that just surprise us!!!