Things That Irk Me

I'm going to go on a rant because this is my blog and I can. :)

There are some things that just bug me and I feel it necessary to voice those things.

1. People making comments on Facebook using texting language. What's wrong with your keyboard? Is it missing letters? Please use complete words when typing online. You're not texting. It makes you look uneducated and/or just plain dumb.

2. People that don't use blinkers when they're turning. Oh, I'm sorry. I didn't use my mind reading abilities to know you were planning to turn or switch lanes. Please indicate your intentions. It's so the people around you can drive safely with you. Blinkers are actually standard on all makes and models of cars. Just FYI.

3. Talking on your cell phone at the checkout counter. I don't really care who said what or where you need to meet someone. Your conversation can wait. It's really easy to tell the person on the other end of the conversation, "Let me call you back in a few minutes. I'm at the checkout counter and don't want to be rude." Not hard.

4. Drivers that speed up to get around you only to slam on their brakes to turn in front of you. Really?! Did that save you any time or get you anywhere faster? Highly doubt it. What it did do is almost cause an accident. Good driving, there, buddy.

5. That person that stops their shopping cart in the middle of the aisle at the grocery store and then just stands there looking at the shelves. You are oblivious to the fact that others need to get by and then act surprised when I say "Excuse me." It's called awareness. Try it sometime.

6. Rude people. That's all. Doesn't matter where you are and what you're doing. You're just rude. You seem to think that you are more important than others and have a superiority complex. You treat waitstaff terribly and behave as if you're the server's only table. Guess what? You were born naked just like the rest of us. You take dumps and have stinky farts. Just admit it. Oh, and just be nice.

7. Kids having screaming fits in public places and the parents that let it continue. Do you really think that everyone in a 5 mile radius wants to hear your kid having a hissy fit because you won't buy them candy? While I applaud you for not giving in to your child's request, please make them be quiet. (Note: I do not have kids. If I did, I would take their ear-splitting screaming ass to the car and go home.)

8. Not holding the door open for someone coming in behind you. This is a common courtesy thing, no? Wouldn't you appreciate that gesture? Especially do it if you see a person close enough behind you. It's just nice to hold it open or even give the door another push to stay open as you continue to enter. Didn't slow you down. Didn't cost you anything. It's just a polite thing to do.

9. Sports players getting paid millions of dollars and then crying about how it's not enough. You know what's not enough? Teachers' salaries. Military salaries. Police and firefighter salaries. You know, the people who are really making a difference in the lives of the multitudes. The money going into (or more recently, out of) education. More of my students will need an education to work because they will not get to be you on the football, basketball, or baseball field. Shut the hell up about how you don't make enough. It's disgusting and insulting to the rest of us. I can't believe you have fans.

10. Politicians. Enough said.

Well, I'm sure there are many more things that annoy me, but this is a start. These are just some of the ones that come immediately to mind. However, there are more. Also, venting is therapeutic. I don't generally like to be a complainer, but sometimes you just have to say what's on your mind.

Settling In

Well, here I am almost a week later and I'm finally feeling more settled into my new apartment. I had my reservations about how I was going to fit into a smaller square footage, but it has worked out pretty good. So my microwave is kind of in my living area. What of it? It doesn't look too bad.

The smaller kitchen is starting to work out. I had to get a little creative with the space, but it's working. I did have to actually buy some items to make it a workable solution, so I ended up spending money I didn't really want to.

I had some great help moving last Sunday. A couple of guy friends were kind enough to donate a few hours of their Sunday to tote boxes and furniture in 90+ degree heat. Bless them! N actually was with me all weekend and was such an immense help. He was also my calming voice when I was feeling frantic and overwhelmed. Plus, he put my new bed together and my TV stand. The dear young lad stayed until there was a good stopping point with the chaos. It was a little weird because even though we are "broken up," we still get along remarkably well. That was never the issue anyway. Anyhow, I digress.

Kirby has had a bit of a hard time settling in. He appears to have a difficult time just relaxing. And he can't get under the bed anymore, so he's kind of sulking about that at bedtime. I think he's getting used to it slowly.

I do love the area and being so close to so much. I plan on getting out on my bike a few times a week over the next few weeks to gain confidence and comfort with riding on the street and with cars. I've had some experience, but not alone. Yay for independence! (with a hint of sarcasm)

What does this apartment hold for me as I reside here for at least the next year? A lot can happen in a year and a year goes by faster than we realize.

Moving Emotions

I started packing yesterday. I move next Sunday to my new apartment. This morning, as I scanned the boxes that are beginning to pile up and the boxes yet to be filled with my life, I became a bit saddened. It's the end of a period of my life and the start of another. It's funny, because I wasn't sad about my last move of apartments. I think I am having a bittersweet reaction to this one because of the memories of the last three years that this place holds. What have these walls seen and heard?

They have seen me cry after losing my mom. They heard me talk to her. They've looked on as I curled up into the fetal position to let my emotions loose.

They have seen me laugh with friends. They've heard the sharing that has taken place between people that trust one another to be honest about who we are and what we struggle with.

These walls saw me as I hunched over Dusty's lifeless body early one Sunday morning in December of 2009. They heard me wail, "Please don't go!" as I held her body at the same time rigor mortis was setting in. They watched me carry her out to be cremated at the vet.

They heard the words, "I love you" from N for the first time. They also got to watch and listen as he told me ten months later that he no longer loved me and wanted to end the relationship. These walls have seen me shed countless tears as a result. They have heard my anguish.

The walls see and hear me as I greet Kirby upon entering the front door. They see what he does during the day, which will always be a mystery to me.

These walls have witnessed my transformation. I am not the same person that moved in here three years ago.

The one thing I have that walls don't, though, are memories. I get to take them with me. And as I move forward and into another apartment, I will make more memories. That's the thing about life. Memories are made every day.

"Memory is a way of holding on to the things you love, the things you are, the things you never want to lose." ~ Kevin Arnold

As I Grow Up

You know, I don't know why I ever thought that I would have life figured out by this point. In all honesty, I am really just getting started. I am learning more about myself as I get older and truly developing my own identity apart from what I have always done, thought, and believed.

It's a very freeing thing to not feel constrained by what I perceive as other people's expectations. To break out of a mold that I feel like I was trying to fit into for so long but just had trouble conforming. The shape didn't take. It was a constant, inner struggle. And now I don't feel that way. There is no mold, except the one I make for myself.

Who am I? Really?? What do I believe? What are the beliefs (morals, if you will) that are unshakable? Which beliefs (ideas, positions) am I willing to let evolve or let go? Believe it or not, these are questions I ask myself on a regular basis. And it didn't take a single person to evoke change. It took an inner discontent with the way things were. Have I been influenced by others? Without a doubt. But I see their influence as a positive because it offered me new perspectives. I don't believe there is anything wrong with being willing to say, "You're right. I've never thought of it that way. Thank you for showing me another view." Being open to another point of view does not mean I have to accept it. But if it's logical, rational, sensible, truthful . . .

As we continually grow (both mentally and chronologically), we learn. We can be changed by what we learn or not. I choose to be changed. I choose to allow what I learn to possibly alter certain ideas I may have. If there is truth to it, then I must accept the truth and not live in denial because of stubbornness or pride. I have to be willing to admit when I'm wrong.

"We grow neither better nor worse as we get old, but more like ourselves." ~ Mary Lamberton Becker

Quotes

I love quotes. Some of them are from obscure people that I have no clue who they are. But their words, wherever they were written or spoken, can speak profound truth and resonate within me. Some of them are just funny. I appreciate the slant on life that some people can perceive and comment on. I like being shown a different perspective through someone else's observations and experiences. They are enlightening.

I have many quotes that I like and keep around. Often it depends on my mood which ones I turn to or that I search for online. Words are a powerful thing. And sometimes it just takes a few to express an insight on life, love, spirituality, and whatever else. Those are the best.

So, in that spirit, here is one for the taking from Stevie Wonder: You can't base your life on other people's expectations. (used from thinkexist.com)