In Memoriam: Dusty

If you know me at all, then you know I love my dogs. Not just "love" as in, "I think they're great to have around." But really LOVE. They are like my children. I miss them when I'm gone. I love coming home to them and seeing their pure joy that I am home. I love the faces and noses in the window eagerly awaiting my arrival back home. The look of "where are you going?" in Dusty's eyes when I would leave sometimes made me feel guilty for leaving at all. Yes, I LOVE my dogs.

And this weekend has been so hard because I had to suddenly say good-bye to Dusty. In a matter of a 4 days, she went from being seemingly normal and healthy to passing away. She spent 3 days in a row at the vet's receiving treatments. She was due to go back on Sunday but passed away during the night while we slept.

I wondered at one point if that was going to be our last night. But I dismissed it as being pessimistic. Since she was spitting up and could not walk, I slept with her in the living room for most of the night, petting her and telling her that I loved her.

Sleep deprivation got the better of me and I went to my bedroom. She was breathing heavily, but I didn't realize she was close to drawing her last breath. So in the morning when I got up and found her, I lost it. The vet's office didn't open for another 2 hours, so I gently laid her on the bed and covered her in a sheet with her favorite toy.

Anyhow, if you never knew Dusty, then she was something special. She could give you looks with those eyes that made you know she was thinking something. I knew her looks of affection, fright, anxiety, and happiness.

She had this funny way of treating me and the couch or bed as her napkin after eating. She would rub her face and body down one side and the other. She would smear her face into my leg. If she wanted attention, she would bury her head into my legs. She also loved the camera. I swear she knew how to pose.

Anyhow, the whole reason for this post is to share something I wrote several years ago about Dusty. After reading the book Because of Winn-Dixie by Kate DiCamillo, I decided to make a few "10 Things I know About . . ." lists. I did one for Kirby and Dusty each. This was Dusty's:

1. She brings a toy to bed almost every night. (When it was time for bed, she would almost always get a toy first and take it with her.)
2. She loves being outside. Living in an apartment was kind of sad because she would lay by the sliding glass door and look outside. She was in heaven at Daddy's because she could go outside all she wanted and run around as much as she desired.
3. She is very happy when chasing and retrieving balls. This was one of her favorite things to do. As she got older, she tired out faster, but that didn't stop her from doing it at all.
4. When playing chase with her, she tucks her rear and scoots rather than runs.
5. She must chase a lot of squirrels in her sleep because of the way she whimpers, barks, and growls.
6. She groans when she stretches. Sounded like a person getting up and making noise.
7. She looks like she is smiling a lot.
8. She wags her tail a lot, especially if being talked to.
9. When my couch was in a position that she could see me in the bathroom, she would lay her head across the armrest and watch me get ready for work or whatever else.
10. Her face is almost always in the window when I am due home. I see her look of joy that I am back . She watches me until I am out of sight and then runs barking to the door to greet me.
And one more: 11. She loved Kirby. She had this funny way of lightly nibbling at him and making a weird sound. She did this when she wanted him to play with her. If I told her "Get Kirby," that is what she would do.

Dusty was a light and source of joy in my life. I am going to miss her tremendously. We had a special connection. I know for people that aren't "dog people," it sounds ridiculous. But I feel sorry for people that don't know that kind of relationship of absolute unconditional love and acceptance.

I love you, Dusty-girl. Dec. 06.2000-Dec. 06, 2009 (yes, she died on her 9th birthday)