I wish I could think like Andrew Murray

I was getting ready for bed, and every (okay, almost every) night I read from "The Andrew Murray Daily Reader." If you don't know who Andrew Murray is, he was the son of South African missionaries, who himself became a minister and lived in South Africa in the 1800's. His writings are so insightful, and there are things there I would never think on my best day. There is something about some of the writers from the earlier generations. They seemed to have so much insight into God and His Word. Many a wonderful book was written during those times.

Anyhow, the reading for tonight was one that I have read before because I am on my second read-through of this book. It contains excerpts from several of his books. Tonight's was from The Believer's Daily Renewal. Murray wrote: Humankind was created for fellowship with God. . . But sin robbed us of this fellowship. . . It was this fellowship that Christ came to restore; to bring back God His lost creatures. . .The power to maintain close fellowship with God all day will depend entirely upon the intensity with which we seek to secure it in the hour of secret prayer. . .Of course, there is the danger of substituting prayer and Bible study for fellowship with God. True fellowship is giving your love, your heart, and your life to Him and receiving from Him His love, life, and Holy Spirit. . .Your Bible study may so pique your interest and so awaken pleasant feelings that the Word of God may become a substitute for God Himself. If this happens, we will go out into the day's work without the power of an abiding fellowship because in our morning devotions the blessing was not secured.

I know that's long, but there was more I left out. But, it really struck me when I read it, because I feel like that's what I quite often do - I am more concerned with getting my "Bible time" in, rather than spending a few quiet moments with God alone and enjoying the fellowship that comes from Him - not just reading His Word. I have never viewed my Bible study time as dangerous. It's supposed to be a good thing. But I can see Murray's point, that it could become a substitute for the fellowship with God. I do not want to deceive myself and think that I have had fellowship with God just because I have read a few verses from Scripture.

I wonder what kind of difference I would see and experience in my day if I sought fellowship with God in the morning instead of just making sure I got in some Bible reading. My Bible study can come later - but God has to come first.

This Peace

I am glad it's Saturday. The morning is cool and still. Time in God's Word was insightful and wonderful as usual.

This was a tough week. I was really feeling the weight of my world. Thursday, I broke a little. Thoughts of not having Momma, hormones, and a feeling of being completely overwhelmed at work caused the floodgates to burst. I kept myself together as long as I could, but could no longer restrain the tears at faculty meeting. Tears that I could not stop freely flowed down my face. I bolted. Fortunately, I am in a very supportive work environment and two of my co-workers/friends chased me down to make sure I was okay. I just needed some time to recollect myself, so I came home. By the time small group arrived, I was fine. The evidence remained, but the tears themselves were gone.

I kept telling myself that it was ridiculous to be crying, but I guess we sometimes need those moments of release. It felt very cleansing, or 'cathartic,' as my friend Amy put it. I am thankful for God's comfort and peace. Music, I think, is one of those comforts. Using what others have found in God, and sharing it through lyric and musical composition. One of those songs is "This Peace" by Sara Groves. I love the words: It's a mystery appeal that's been granted me tonight; This peace; This peace.

It was exactly that on Thursday: an appeal to Almighty God that was granted, and is still being felt.

p.s. - Michele, I miss you! I know you completely understand these emotions that just surprise us!!!

Heart and Tongue Connection

I must need to learn more about the connection between our heart and tongue, because every time I read Scripture about it, and I nod and think, "YES!", I have to honestly say that it is not so easily implemented.

I was reading tonight from Psalm 140-146. In 141:3-4, David prays that God would set a guard over his mouth, and to not let his heart be inclined to any evil. My brain synapses started firing and recalling numerous Scripture references that talk about the heart and tongue issue. The first is Jesus Himself. In Matthew 12:34, He blasted the Pharisees, and told them that "out of the abundance of the heart the mouth speaks." Proverbs 4:23 admonishes, "Keep your heart with all vigilance, for from it flow the springs of life."

Our hearts are so important to God. We are instructed to "love the Lord your God with your whole heart." I have to wonder, that if I truly did that, would I have such a problem with my tongue? Would it really be the "restless evil, full of deadly poison" as referred to in James 3:8? Jeremiah said in 17:9, that the heart is deceitful above all things. So where does that leave us? Is there any hope for my poor heart?

Fortunately, yes! The prophet Ezekiel prophesied in 36:26 that God (in the new covenant made with Jesus) "will give you a new heart, and a new spirit I will put within you. And I will remove the heart of stone from your flesh and give you a heart of flesh."

Yea! God works in us and in our hearts! As we continue to submit to Him, He continually changes us. I still need to protect my heart and trust God to His work.

My heart condition is directly tied to what flows from my mouth, and I need to be careful with both.

Poetry

Some people probably don't know this about me, but I love poetry. I love to read it, and I love to write it. I wrote more prolifically when I was younger, but sometimes have inspiration to write now. I usually just come up with a few lines and then get stuck. I don't know why I think a poem has to be longer than a few lines, because it doesn't. Anyhow, I figure I can use my blog as a venue for sharing some of the stuff I have written. This one is from this last Easter on Good Friday. I had spent some time in the Word and read through Matthew 26-28. After reading, the words for the poem just flowed:

Son of God,
Son of Man,
Descended from Your throne.
Wrapped in human flesh,
Destined to die alone.

Drank the cup of Your Father's will,
Broken and crushed,
Lashed and cursed,
Eyes of scorn that looked upon Your face.
How could they watch?
How could they cheer?

It was all God's plan
To redeem His created man.

Death would not last,
The tomb would not keep You in.
You rose and left
Having paid the price for sin.

Son of God,
Son of Man,
Ascended to the throne.
Wrapped in glorious light,
Destined to come again.

Profound Truth from "The Shack"

This week I finished reading the book The Shack. It was recommended by my Aunt Carolyn this last summer, and since then different people have said it is a must read. One of my co-workers gave me her copy to read because she said I needed to read it. So I did. And it was amazing! There is some questionable doctrine in it, but it is a fiction book. There is one part, though, toward the end that when I read it, I thought, "Wow! What an amazing insight." I have never really heard tragedy addressed in this way, and it just makes sense.

It's on page 185. God is talking to Mack about his personal tragedy, and Mack is trying to understand why it had to happen. God says this: "Mack, just because I work incredible good out of unspeakable tragedies doesn't mean I orchestrate the tragedies. Don't ever assume that my using something means I caused it or that I need it to accomplish my purposes. That will only lead you to false notions about me. Grace doesn't depend on suffering to exist, but where there is suffering you will find grace in many facets and colors."

After reading that, my mind quickly jumped to personal tragedies in my life. And I know that God has brought a lot of good out of one in particular, and I am thankful for His grace that sustained me. We are quick to conclude that whatever happens must be God's will, but we live in a fallen world where people do a lot of bad things that God never intended. If I believe that God is good, and that no evil exists in Him and that He can have nothing to do with evil, how could I ever think that the bad things that happen were caused by Him? Those 2 lines of thinking don't go together. But I do believe that "God works all things together for good for those who are called according to His purpose" (Romans 8:28). That word "all" really does mean "all." Nothing is excluded. *clarification note: as I have learned more about God and His absolute control, I have come to rethink my position on this. God, if He truly is fully in control, absolutely knows what evil will befall us, and He does allow it (take Job, for instance). If evil were not in God's control, how could He be truly sovereign? This idea seems contrary to popular belief and long-held ideas I had about God, but it makes sense. It doesn't make God evil, because He is not, but He is in control. Crazy and difficult to comprehend, but He is God, and that's all that matters. We can trust Him.*

I am thankful for William P. Young and his book that is getting a lot of people thinking about God, both Christian and non-Christian. I think it is good to raise some challenges to the ways we have always thought about God. And I love the relationship aspect that is so heavily accentuated in this book.

So if you are looking for a book, here's one for you!

Ahhh, Sundays

I love Sundays. They are the beginning of a new week. It is a day of rest. I go to church, where it never fails I learn something new. I always get a sense of the presence of the Lord in our church. He is there and I always feel closer to Him during that time.

I have to admit to an obsession. Every day I have to do the daily crossword on Yahoo games. I am in competition with myself to see how fast I can complete it without using the "hints" tool. I love the hints tool it has, because there are some things I just don't know, especially when it comes to some of the pop culture stuff. I am a little out of touch with some of that. But I also find that I know some random information, that had it not been in the crossword, I probably wouldn't use that knowledge. Surprising I even have it at all!

A Friday Afternoon Off

Since I had the afternoon off, thanks to good ole' Ike coming to town (or Texas, at least, and our area being affected), I decided to take in a movie with a friend. We went to go see "Burn After Reading," which just came out today. I knew it was rated 'R' and that it was going to have to do with language (which it did due to the overly used 'f' word). But I have to say, that it made me laugh. It was a very amusing movie. Some of the parts made me laugh because they were just so unexpected (and in some cases shocking!). And Brad Pitt is hilarious as the fitness trainer. We really enjoyed it! I don't feel like it was a waste of $6.50.